Creating Positive Ripples

How Self-Talk Shapes Leadership and Change Agility

It started with a wobble. 

My seven-year-old son, perched precariously on his bicycle, struggling to find his balance. 

On this particular day, I noticed a pattern—each time he fell, he muttered something negative to himself: “I can’t do this. I’m not good at riding bikes. I’ll never learn.”

As a parent, these moments pierce your heart. You want to rush in, steady the bicycle, and smooth away every obstacle. 

But sometimes, the most profound teaching moments emerge from these struggles, offering lessons that can create positive ripple effects.

The Ripple Effect: The Impact of Words and Water

That evening, I sat down with my son to talk about the day and shared a compelling concept that changed both our perspectives—the impact of words and water. 

In the late 1990s, Dr. Masaru Emoto conducted what became known as the “Messages from Water” experiments, studying the effects of words and energy on water. While the specific methodology has been debated, the core idea resonates deeply.

In his experiments, Emoto exposed water samples to different words, sounds, and intentions—some positive, some negative. The water was then frozen, and the resulting crystal formations were photographed under a microscope.

The results were striking! 

Water exposed to positive words formed beautiful, symmetrical crystal patterns, while water exposed to negative words produced irregular, fragmented structures. 

Considering that the human body is approximately 60-70% water, the implications of the study are profound. If words can potentially influence the molecular structure of water, what impact are our words having on us?

I explained this to my son and showed him the images from the Emoto water study.

I asked him what he thought the impact would be on his body if each time he made a mistake on his bike, he spoke negative and unkind things to himself. He studied the images. Then looked up at me and said, “Oh! My words are powerful!” 

He then recalled a lesson that his school counselor did for them around the contagiousness of kindness, and I could see that it clicked in for him that showing kindness to himself (and growth mindset) was just as important. 

Wow! If we, as adult leaders, could only see it that clearly!

The next day, I noticed a shift when practicing his bike.. “This is hard, but I’m learning” replaced “I can’t do this.” A small change in language, but a significant shift in perspective. And that’s where the ripple effect truly begins!

Where the Ripple Begins: Embodied Leadership Starts With You

This interaction with my son made me reflect deeply on the executive coaching and leadership development work that I do for individuals and teams– especially in times of change and transformation. 

We’re often meticulous about our external communication as leaders. We carefully craft emails, rehearse presentations, and deliver feedback with a degree of awareness about the impact of our words. 

But what about the conversations we have inside our heads? Those internal dialogues are the source of the ripple, the headwaters that feed everything we do. They’re the words that shape our beliefs, drive our actions, and ultimately, determine the kind of leader we become.

Today’s leaders operate in a complex and often volatile environment. Pressure, uncertainty, and the constant demand for results can amplify self-doubt, making it difficult to maintain composure and inspire confidence. 

But here’s a crucial truth: you can’t effectively lead others if you’re not leading yourself effectively.

And that starts with managing your self-talk.

This isn’t just anecdotal; it’s neuroscience. 

Our brains are wired to respond to our thoughts and the language we use, both internally and externally. Negative self-talk strengthens neural pathways associated with fear, anxiety, and self-doubt. It’s like carving a rut in a muddy road – the more you travel it, the deeper it gets. 

Conversely, positive and empowering self-talk builds new, more resilient neural connections, fostering confidence and self-efficacy. This is the foundation of embodied leadership—recognizing the interconnectedness of mind, body, and action. Our thoughts literally become embodied in our behaviors and interactions. 

Think about it: how can you empower your team to take calculated risks if you’re constantly second-guessing your own decisions? 

How can you foster an environment of growth and learning if your internal narrative is one of limitation and doubt? 

That negativity becomes part of the atmosphere, a subtle but powerful current that affects everyone around you. It’s the negative ripple spreading outwards.

Creating Positive Ripples: Tapping into the Power of Positive Self-Talk

Change agility starts with the leader’s mindset. 

When leaders embrace embodied leadership practices and maintain positive self-talk, they create a cascading effect that enhances their organization’s ability to navigate change. Leadership, like water, creates ripples. Every word you speak to yourself sends waves through your organization. Positive self-talk allows you to:

1. Model emotional intelligence and self-awareness for your team.
2. Create an environment where mistakes are viewed as learning opportunities.
3. Demonstrate the growth mindset you want to see in others.
4. Build authentic confidence that inspires trust.

But perhaps most importantly, you create a reservoir of resilience that your team can draw upon during challenging times.

Here’s a powerful tool I often use with my clients: start your day with what I call the “Mirror Moment.” 

Stand in front of a mirror (yes, actually do this) and speak to yourself as you would to a valued team member. Take two minutes to:

1. Acknowledge one challenge you’re facing with compassion. Don’t minimize it; own it. “This project is incredibly complex, and I’m feeling overwhelmed.”
2. Recognize one strength you’re bringing to this challenge. What resources do you have? What skills have you used before to overcome similar challenges? “But I’ve successfully managed large-scale projects before, and I have a highly skilled team.”
3. State one specific action you’ll take to move forward. Even a small one. “Today, I’ll break down the project into smaller, more manageable tasks and delegate specific responsibilities to my team members.”

This exercise might feel uncomfortable at first—most meaningful changes do. It’s about disrupting those old negative thought patterns and forging new, more positive pathways in your brain—embodying a new way of being.

Expanding the Ripple: How Embodied Leadership Transforms Organizations

Embodied leadership isn’t just about individual growth; it’s about creating an organizational culture where empowering language is the norm. It’s about fostering an environment where challenges are approached with a growth mindset and setbacks are viewed as temporary learning opportunities.

Here are some ways to expand the ripple within your organization:

1. Language Audits: Pay attention to the language used in meetings, emails, and casual conversations. Are there subtle phrases that undermine confidence or reinforce a scarcity mindset? Gently guide the conversation toward more constructive and empowering language.
2. Celebrate Progress, Publicly: Regularly acknowledge and celebrate both individual and team accomplishments, no matter how small. This reinforces the message that growth is valued and achievable.
3. Foster Psychological Safety: Create an environment where team members feel comfortable sharing challenges, asking for help, and expressing vulnerability without fear of judgment. This is essential for building trust, resilience, and a culture of learning.

Leaving a Legacy of Positive Ripples

Remember,  transforming self-talk patterns isn’t simply about positive thinking (and certainly not advocating for toxic positivity!). It is, however, about understanding the power you have within yourself to rewire neurons. It’s literally brain science. . 

Neuroscience demonstrates that repeated thoughts and words create neural patterns in our brains. The more we practice positive self-talk, the stronger those connections become, making it easier to access those empowering thoughts during times of stress and uncertainty. 

Just as water takes time to freeze into crystals, lasting change in our thought patterns and leadership style takes time to solidify.

Watching my son shift his self-talk from negative to positive wasn’t just about learning to ride a bike. It was about developing a fundamental life skill that will serve him in every future challenge he faces. 

As leaders, we’re on a similar journey. We’re constantly learning, adapting, and navigating new challenges. The way we talk to ourselves along the way profoundly shapes not only our own success but also the success of those we lead.

So, the next time you’re faced with a challenge, pause and consider what words you are using to talk to yourself about the situation. Choose your words wisely. Choose to create positive ripples that extend far beyond yourself.

Every word you speak to yourself is like a drop in the vast ocean of your organization’s culture. Make those drops count. 

After all, if words can influence the structure of water, imagine what they can do for your team, your organization, and your legacy as a leader.

P.s. My son celebrated successfully learning to ride his bike by the end of this same weekend!